Day 130: Climbing An Impossible Hill, The Finale of Finals, And Why Not Finishing First Is Still Reason to Celebrate

22 November 2014

Halfway Up

“Finished last will always be better than did not finish, which always trumps did not start.” – Unknown

The Impossible Hill

Last Tuesday my friends convinced me to walk up the highest hill behind our college. (Don’t ask me why they call it a hill, it definitely fits the category for mountain in my opinion.) At first the climb was steep but not too exhausting, I mounted the first hill with ease. But as we rounded the second curve I could feel my body starting to protest. I had been up early that morning to study for a final exam and had had little to eat in the past 24 hours, I was beginning to feel the consequences of my choices. By the third crest I was experiencing back spasms, each step seemed an impossible task but I forced myself to put one foot in front of the other. As I silently berated myself for not being as fit as the others in the group, and feeling like an all-around failure, I finally realized, I was still going and that’s what mattered. Maybe they were a bit faster than I was, but we would all get to the top eventually. 

Sunset

I guess if there was one thing I could say I’ve learned in Australia, the culmination of all my growth over the past months, that story would just about narrate my entire journey. Before I left home I was used to finishing first, but as I look over the past five months I have learned to measure success not by the people in front of me, but by my personal best. Everything hasn’t come easy this semester. But though I felt I was climbing an impossible mountain at times, I am proud to say I made it. That same day I took my last final exam for the semester and after many breaks and pauses, and multiple sayings of, “You guys, go on, I’ll catch up,” I made it to the top of that impossible hill too. 

We Made It!!!

I’ve learned that sometimes in life you’re not going to be first but that’s no reason to give up. Surprisingly, not finishing first didn’t diminish the beauty of the hilltop, and not finishing as number one in all my classes hasn’t made me feel like I learned any less. For me, every grade, every moment I spend in Australia is precious because it was born not of IQ points and meticulously calculated plans, but of sweat, and tears, and out of many, many, MANY prayers. I may not be the smartest, fastest, put together Uni student in all of Australia, but maybe I don’t need to be. Maybe, just like with that crazy steep hill, I just need to continue to put one foot in front of the other. I need to stop gauging my success on the scales of others and fully embrace the person God has made and is slowly shaping me to be. That’s why I’m not proud to say that I finished first or last or third, but simply that I finished. That, in itself, is reason to celebrate.